Week 7: My Eyes Are Up Here

Last week Katrina Caliente ended her relationship with Randy and her daughter Nina was desperate to continue with one. Emilia Ernest aired her dirty laundry and Angela Pleasant poured her guts out on Randy’s lawn for all of Oasis Springs to see. The week ended with a total of 91 children!

Monday

The first baby born this week was crazy Angela Pleasant’s daughter, Bianca.

Chaim Sterling was baby number two.

Seema Raghaven was Randy’s first visitor of the week. She came rocking those glasses as always.

No sooner than she walked through the door there was a full-on monsoon!

Seema and Randy weren’t bothered by the storm. I doubt they even noticed it.

Randy: *sings AC/Dc’s Thunderstruck*
Seema Raghaven: You’re such a great singer, Randy.

He’s really not.

Summer Holiday came over for a quick shower. This is the only picture I have of her visit.

She left and Bella Goth was next.

Randy wanted to try some hip new dance he saw. And let’s just say mistakes were made.

Randy: I’ve got some new moves to show you, doll.
Bella Goth: Wait. What’s happening?

He sent Bella’s head through the door.

Bella Goth: Oh no, Randy. Something’s gone wrong, really wrong.

Bella Goth: What am I touching? Is that your hair or your back?
Randy: That’s my hair. I think I broke my wrists.

Eventually, they were able to untangle and made it to the bed for a bit of a “lay down.”

Check out the baby bump on Alice Martin. She’s looking super happy about it.

Grace Anansi: Why do I do this to myself?

After Bella left to find a physical therapist, Angela Pleasant came over. Randy was understandably nervous about seeing her again, but the cause must come first.

Angela must have spoken with one of the other ladies in town, there was no mention of pregnancies or babies. They had their time in the Love Tub and she left without incident. I was disappointed.

Very pregnant Mei Prescott also not looking very happy.

Pregnant Kaori Nishidake. What is with all the unhappy sims today?

Kaori Nishidake: I’m tired. So very tired.

I’m sure it has nothing to do with all the children they have.

Moira Fyres was trying something new. Honestly, I’m not sure it works.

Kim Goldbloom made her way to Randy’s house.

Randy and Kim enjoyed the Love Tub.

I missed the birth of a few babies. Alex Moyer gave birth to Makenna.

Aaradhya Acharya had twins, Jerome

and Callen.

Ava Harjo gave Randy another baby girl, Alexandra. Okay, she didn’t GIVE him the baby, she gave birth to his daughter. Pretty sure Randy would not accept a gift such as that anyway.

Randy invited Ava Harjo over for some QT. Ava had one thing on her mind.

Randy: Ava. My eyes are up here.
Ava Harjo: Oh, sorry, Randy. *takes a stealthy picture*

Randy should probably start wearing more clothes on the regular. I’m sure it won’t happen though.

Ava Harjo: Dreams really do come true.

Let’s be honest here, Randy is a sure thing. If a meltdown in front of his house isn’t enough to keep him away from impregnating someone, Ava had nothing to be concerned about.

Randy ended the day with a visit from the fashionable Ciara Sterling.

Randy had to rush out the door when he felt that tingle. It’s not every day he feels it in the middle of the night.

Randy: Well, hellooo. Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m Randy Johnson. I’m new in town and I’m here to serve.
Lilith Vatore: Hey, hi. Can you move? I’m on my way somewhere and the sunlight reflecting off the moon is starting to burn my skin.
Randy: OK, doll. I got your number, I’ll call you.
Lilith Vatore: Not before midnight you won’t.

The last baby born on Sunday of week 7 was Genevieve Fyres.

Monday

Just when I think nothing exciting is happening someone does something just to prove me wrong. Eliza Pancakes, for example, showed up at Randy’s place around 2 am and just stared at his bedroom window. At this point, Eliza was heavily pregnant and should probably have been home in bed. But who needs sleep when you can stare at a window.

Eliza Pancakes: *whispers* Randy…

Now that is creepy.

Mei Prescott had a baby boy, Kelvin.

Inside the house, Ciara Sterling was having a meltdown. I can only speculate as to why she was crying, but I think it was because she knew it would be at least a week before she could be in Randy’s bed again.

Then she got her crap together and left Randy’s house.

Alex Moyer visited and was enthralled with the plant Randy had on his porch. The plant that had been there since the beginning of time. Why was it so fascinating now?

Somehow Randy got Alex into the bedroom where they did the horizontal tango. I’m not sure Randy should even entertain any dancing ideas after what happened with Bella Goth.

Like a shift change at a factory, Alex left and Aaradhya Acharya arrived.

Randy swept Aaradhya off her feet.

Aaradhya Acharya: Oh, you have missed me.
Randy: I miss all my ladies, doll.

Gross, Randy.

Then swept her into the bathroom shower.

Mei Prescott stopped by to ask Randy for marriage again.

Mei Prescott: *baby talk* Mawee me, Wandy. PWEEZE!!!
Randy: Would you cage a butterfly? No. So why would you cage me? I need to be free; to fly, just like a butterfly.

Before he sent her on her way they had some fun in the Love Tub. Three things were working in his favor: he was there, she was there, and she wasn’t pregnant. He couldn’t let the opportunity slip away.

Siobhan Fyres visited while Randy was “refueling.”

They made their way into the bathroom.

Out on the street:

Ciara Sterling: Geez, why do you smell like cat pee?
Catarina Lynx: It’s perfume. My cats make me perfume.
Ciara Sterling: *chokes on bile*

Look who’s all grown up! Olivia Kim-Lewis is no longer a teenager and now Randy and Olivia can do more than have conversations on the phone (not creepy).

While Randy was laying on the moves, Kalamainu’u Iona had another baby. A boy named Emerson, baby number nine of the week.

Olivia and Randy hit the hay.

Two minutes later Olivia was on her way home and Kalamainu’u was on her way to see Randy.

Olivia Kim-Lewis: That was oddly disappointing.
Kalamainu’u Iona: First time? You get used to it.

Jeb Harris: *knocks on door*
Kalamainu’u Iona: Do you know that guy? What’s with the bag?
Randy: Nope. Shall we get started?

Kalamainu’u and Randy walked right passed Jeb and shut the door in his bag-covered face.

While Randy was entertaining Kalamainu’u, Nalani Mahi’ai had a baby girl, Athena.

Emilia Ernest: Why are we on the porch, Randy? Do I deserve to wait on the porch? Do you need to be punished, boy?
Randy: Uhh…
Emilia Ernest: Is that how you address me?
Randy: No, Ma’am.

Emilia Ernest: You know what to do. Do not disappoint me, or baby gets the paddle.
Randy: Yes, ma’am.

Eliza Pancakes had her baby while Randy was being punished.

Four hours later Emilia left and Randy called Lilith Vatore.

Lilith Vatore: I don’t get invited to a lot of people’s homes.
Randy: Because of the hours you keep?
Lilith Vatore: Yes… Something like that.

Randy: Wow, you ran in here super fast. Are you training for the Olympics?
Lilith Vatore: Uh, no. It’s a… natural talent…

Randy can be so oblivious.

Tuesday

Early the next morning, Miko Ojo had a baby girl named Maia.

The first visitor of the day was Eliza Pancakes. She clung to Randy like her life depended on it.

Randy: Ready to go inside?
Eliza Pancakes: Hold me, Randy. For just a few minutes.
Randy: *mildly panics*

Eventually, Randy was able to coax Eliza into the bedroom.

Nalani Mahi’ai: Hey, girl! Are we still on for playdates after naptime?
Eliza Pancakes: You bet. I’ll see you later.

Since Nalani had an appointment she and Randy got right down to the business at hand.

Alice Martin finally had that baby. A girl named Tanvi.

Eva Capricciosa was outside Randy’s house hanging out with three of his kids. (Nicole Raghaven, Michael Sterling, and Deon Feng?) Maybe she was babysitting? It didn’t matter, Randy felt that tingle and ran outside to introduce himself.

Ava had to leave before the deal could be sealed. Randy was distracted by more tingles when Faye Harris showed up on his porch.

Faye Harris: I just want to dance!

Faye Harris: I need to dance!!

As Faye was dancing Becca Clarke had a baby boy, Juan.

And L. Faba had twin girls, Gabrielle and Jayme. Gabrielle and Jayme Faba are numbers 15 and 16 for this week.

Faye was so busy busting a move that Randy had to swoop in to get a kiss.

Faye Harris: Oh, you think I’m a good dancer?
Randy: The best dancer.

She’s actually not. If anyone has ever seen the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine dances, then you have a good idea of the type of dancer Faye is.

Randy taught Faye a new dance. That’s what she claimed anyway, but she has two kids so the only person she is fooling is Randy.

Later that night.

Hilary Laurent: *whispers* …Randy…

Seriously, what is Randy doing to break these ladies?

Wednesday

Faye Harris: *thinking* I got pregnant from dancing?

Watching Faye eat made me feel nauseous.

Faye Harris: *mouth full* I’m eating for two now.

As Randy slept and Faye devoured her sandwich Lilith Pleasant had a baby girl named Annabel.

Kaori Nishidake also had a baby, a boy named Marc.

When he woke Randy invited Kaori Nishidale over for a roll in the sack.

Faye was too involved in her sandwich to notice anything that may be happening anywhere else

Randy found Alice Martin playing in some leaves and decided to join her.

Alice Martin: I was hoping to see you.
Randy: And now you do. What shall we do with ourselves?

Alice Martin: I have an idea.

Alice and Randy ended up with leaves and twigs in all sorts of private places.

That kid in the background is Josh Ernest, Emilia’s son. I’m pretty sure he will have lifelong issues due to what he witnessed.

Interested in all the commotion Ulrike Faust came over to introduce herself.

Katrina Caliente hammered a nail into the coffin she buried her and Randy’s relationship in. She adopted a child, a girl named Skylar. A girl. On second thought, it might be better not to introduce her to Randy at such a young age.

Ulrike Faust was determined to scar the rest of the children in Oasis Springs.

No children walked by, but Liberty Lee was drawn to the pile of leaves like a zombie drawn to sound. She could not pull herself away.

Liberty Lee: Why is it moving?

Leaf Pile: *giggles*
Liberty Lee: The leaf pile laughs?

After Randy emerged from the leaf pile he introduced himself to the voyeuristic Liberty Lee.

Randy: Well hellooo…. (yadda, yadda, yadda).
Liberty Lee: Ohhhhh…

Randy wanted to stick around to maybe show Liberty the leaf pile too. But Grace Anansi was waiting for him at his house, and Grace does not like to waste time.

Liberty Lee followed Randy to his house.

Liberty Lee: Randy, I feel like we’re kindred spirits, you and I and we should totally be super best friends forever. Forever!
Grace Anansi: I really can not have these interruptions, Randy. I have a schedule to maintain.
Randy: Hey, bestie, why don’t you wait out here for a bit.

Grace and Randy ran to his room and did their thing.

Liberty patiently waited in the living room.

A few minutes later, while Grace slept Randy showed Liberty his tiny golden bow.

Liberty Lee: *possessed by hearts* OHHHHHHHHHHH! I FEEL IT!!!!

And with a kiss the insta-love spell was complete. Liberty was putty in Randy’s hands.

I hope those sheets get washed.

While all of that was happening Zoe Patel had her baby, a boy named Kolton.

I missed the birth of Anya Jang’s daughter, Jerrica.

And Morgan Fyres had a baby boy named Don.

Randy met Etsuko Ishikawa outside his house and invited her inside. She never takes her gloves off because her touch is so cold. The problem with that is she has trouble with the touch screen on her phone.

Etsuko Ishikawa: I just can’t get this thing to do what I want.

Thursday

Etsuko’s visit lasted into the early hours of Thursday.

With a poof, Etsuko was in the bedroom. I imagine that black smoke smells like eggs.

Randy: I like the shower cap.
Etsuko Ishikawa: Thank you. It keeps my hair tidy.

Seema Raghaven had a baby boy named Carlo while Etsuko and Randy got more “personal.”

And then SHE DIED! Her official cause of death is anger. Poor baby Carlo will think this is his fault.

Pregnant Bella Goth riding a bike! I can not imagine that was very comfortable or safe. Maybe it’s some new way to bring on labor?

Inside Cassandra Goth and Randy were about to get steamy in the shower.

Up next was Becca Clarke. She was splashing puddles like a child all the way to Randy’s door.

They had no choice but to wash the mud off.

Lilith Pleasant came over looking to kill some time. Behind her, we see an elderly Nancy Landgraab. Now that Nancy is an elder her name had been moved from the full house column to the graveyard.

Nancy Landgraab: Look at me while I walk away. See what you are missing. *slowly shuffles feet* Argh, these boots are killing me.

Something about the rainy weather makes Randy love the shower more.

Anaya Jang was invited over for some fun. It’s hard to see, but Ava Harjo is pregnant in this picture. She got all weird when she saw Randy.

Ava Harjo: *giggles* Hi, Randy. Hi… *giggles* *whispers* Hi.
Anaya Jang: Should we call someone about the crazy on your lawn?
Randy: Nah. Randy kinda likes it.

They left Ava on the sidewalk whispering and giggling.

Anaya Jang: What? Are you sad now?
Randy: I miss the giggling.
Anaya Jang: That’s not me. *rolls eyes*

Riding the bike must have worked. Bella had a baby girl named Yesenia.

Eva Capricciosa didn’t have to babysit a brood of Randy’s kids so she came over for some Love Tub time.

Then Catarina Lynx came over and when I saw her pajamas I guffawed and wheezed and nearly choked.

Catarina Lynx: Meow, Randy. *purrs*
Randy: Nice pajamas.
Catarina Lynx: Meowwwwww, so petable.

Kim Goldbloom had her baby, Randolph.

Friday

Ava Harjo gave birth to a girl, Giovanna.

And Ciara Sterling had twin boys, Bryan and Quinn.

Zoe Patel showed up on Randy’s porch.

Her daughter, Marilyn Patel, was there too. She was on her phone the whole time.

Marilyn Patel: *talking and texting* No, Michael, I said I’m at Dad’s and I can’t come over right now.
Michael Sterling: unknown response.
Marilyn Patel: *talking and texting* No, I don’t think he even knows I exist.

So sad. All of Randy’s kids are going to have Daddy Issues.

Yasemin Tinker and her wife, Tina, are constantly asking Randy to be best friends. Randy isn’t interested in that kind of relationship with them and they are interested in the kind that he wants. It’s a stalemate.

Yasemin Tinker: Randy, this one is pretty. You’ll have beautiful children. I approve.
Randy: *mutters* No one asked for your opinion, Yasemin.
Zoe Patel: *bored*

Randy was finally able to get rid of Yasemin and attend to the job at hand.

Randy: Whoa, you’re eager.
Zoe Patel: Don’t speak, you’re ruining it.

Zoe doesn’t like Randy, at all. But he’s always available when she needs to relieve some stress. If he can keep his mouth shut.

Bella Goth came over for some watermelon salad.

The way that the maid’s profile and the portrait in the background are merging is really disturbing. It’s giving off American Werewolf in London (or Paris) vibes.

Alex Moyer had her baby. A boy named Derick.

You can guess where things ended up with Bella.

Bella Goth: Are you sure he’s not a werewolf?
Randy: The only thing I’m sure of is that I can have you back home in five minutes.

Aaradhya Acharya had a beautiful baby boy, Ray. Ray is baby number 29!

Why is Cassandra Goth having such a hard time getting pregnant? Is taking something preventative?

I missed the birth of Mei Prescott’s son, Cornelius. This is Mei’s last baby; her house is now full. She is considered retired unless one of her children died unexpectedly. Mei, thank you for your service.

While Alex Moyer and Randy were having some good clean fun.

I noticed that Hilary Laurent became an elder. Her name has been moved to the graveyard column. Thank you for your service, Hilary.

Kim Goldbloom came over for a little while.

Kim Goldbloom: Where did you go?
Randy: I’m already getting started, doll.

After Kim left, Ciara came over. Randy really packs them in there in the evenings.

Randy: Shall we? I have another appointment after this.
Ciara Sterling: *sigh* I guess.

Ciara just had twins and has a total of six children already. She has got to be exhausted. Not that Randy cares. When you already have six kids what is one more?

Michael Sterling has grown into a teenager. He was waiting outside to escort his mother home. What a good boy.

Ciara Sterling: Hi, Aaradyha. Love your shirt and jacket.
Aaradyha Acharya: Hello, Ciara, I like that hoodie and your hair.
Both: *laugh*

Aaradyha was wasting no time.

Aaradyha Acharya: Are you ready to do this? I have to get home before 10.
Randy: Let me check with the man downstairs… Yup. Ready to go.

While Aaradhya and Randy were visiting the man downstairs, Oliva Kim-Lewis gave birth to baby number 31, a girl named Nathalie.

Cassandra came over for her 45th attempt.

Aaradhya Acharya: Good luck, hun!
Cassandra Goth: Thanks, I can use it.

The last baby born on Friday was Kalamainu’u’s daughter, Paulina.

Saturday

Randy entertained Cassandra multiple times into the early morning hours of Saturday.

While Randy was busy with Cassandra, Emilia Ernest had a baby boy named Fredrick.

And Lilith Vatore had twin girls, Elsa and Monique. Elsa and Monique are babies 34 and 35 this week.

After Cassandra left to finally get some sleep, Randy invited Kalamainu’u to his place for a nice long shower. It’s a wonder how he hasn’t gotten trench foot or something by now. I’m sure that shower is less than clean and his feet are wet all the time.

The word on the street is that Becca Clarke is pregnant.

Bacca Clarke: *burp* Oh, that’s a little vom.

Olivia Kim-Lewis visited for a bit and left with a bun in the oven. While she was leaving, The Mistress of Darkness, Emilia Ernest, was walking to the door. Emilia Really doesn’t like it when Randy has visitors besides her.

Olivia Kim-Lewis: Hello.
Emilia Ernest: Do not talk to me! I am not here for you.

Randy quickly ushered Emilia to the Love Tub before she could come up with some sort of punishment for him.

Randy called Yuki Behr for a visit. Even on her first visit to his house he’s still not bothering with clothing.

She wasn’t bothered by it.

Greta Laurent showed up in town causing a case of the tingles. Now that her mother can no longer gestate a child, she must want to take up the cause. Randy is more than willing to oblige.

And across the street was another new face chatting with Ava Harjo and Kalamainu’u Iona.

Ava Harjo: You’ll have to meet Randy. He should be here any minute now, he always knows when there’s a new face in town.
Kyoto Kato: How does he know?
Ava Harjo: He calls it Tingle Time. I don’t know what it means.

Rany busted out of his house, quickly met Greta Laurent then ran to Kyoto for their greeting.

Randy: *runs by Greta* Hey, doll, I’ll call you.
Greta Laurent: oh, ok.
Kyoto Kato: I feel like I should just wait here for no reason at all.

As Randy ran to Kyoto, Eliza Pancakes had a baby girl, Shirley.

By the time I got back to Randy and Kyoto, they were already kissing.

The next thing you know, they are jumping into a leaf pile.

Once Randy was finished with Kyoto he ran home to find a sad Eliza Pancakes on his porch.

Eliza Pancakes: Why do I always feel sad after I have the babies?

Randy has just the cure for postpartum depression, another pregnancy.

The last baby of the week was born to Nalani Mahi’ai, a girl named Kimberly. Kimberly is baby number 37 this week, giving a grand total of 128 children!

That’s it for this update, I hope you enjoyed it. I can’t wait to see what happens next time. See you then!

Week 6: The Crustaceans

Welcome back to week 6 of my Family Man Challenge. Last week ended with a total of 62 children. Let’s see if Randy can increase that number.

Sunday

In the early morning hours of Sunday, Becca Clarke got out of bed and watched Randy sleep, until it dawned on her that she was probably pregnant again and why can’t she tell that man no?

Morgan Fyres had the first baby of the week! A beautiful baby boy, Patrick. Kind of a classic name for an Irish family, wouldn’t you say?

Nalani Mahi’ai came over and Randy swept her off her feet.

Nalani Mahi’ai: Oh geez, don’t drop me!
Randy: Don’t worry, doll. I haven’t dropped anyone yet.

Randy constantly reminds the ladies that they are not “his one and only.”

That being said absolutely no one seems to mind.

Randy: Hurry, before the magic is gone.
Nalani Mahi’ai: Why would the magic disappear?

Outside Summer Holiday is dreaming up Food Legacy names for her unborn baby. Wrong challenge, Summer.

Summer Holiday: What about Cupcake? Is that too much? Should I just use it as a nickname?

Randy went out to check his mail and who should be on his porch? Hilary Laurent.

Hilary Laurent: *grins* Is it okay that I just stopped by?
Randy: Doll, that’s more than okay.

Right to the bedroom they go.

Hilary Laurent: My husband recently became an elder. This is his nap time.
Randy: Nap time works for me. Anytime works for me.

Randy’s daughter, Nicole Raghaven, has nothing better to do on a Sunday afternoon. Just a child walking around the desert alone. What could go wrong?

Catarina Lynx came over and Randy had to hold her hands to keep her from scratching at him.

Randy: How about we don’t scratch today. Randy got a skin infection last time.
Catarina Lynx: *purrs* Whatever you say, Randy. Meeeoooowww.

The things he does in the name of his competition with his half-brother.

If Randy wants to avoid getting an infection, I’m pretty sure he should also avoid the Love Tub. We’ve all seen what goes on in there.

Spotted a pregnant Emilia Ernest, waiting for a bus? She was just sitting there staring.

At first, I thought this was Randy’s daughter Jill Langraab spying on him again. But this is London Bjergsen, Randy’s daughter with Clara Bjergsen.

Christina Price looks like she is picking out her own clothes now.

As Catarina Lynx left I spied a very sad Morgan Fyres. At first, I thought her father had died and freed up a slot, but he just became an elder.

Catarina Lynx: *continuous purring*

Randy decided to cheer Morgan up with some special one on one time.

Randy: Hey, doll. Let’s put a smile on that face.

Bella Goth is looking very round!

Randy has two sons named Armando; this one is Dina Caliente’s son. Paulo Rocca is rocking some really nice earrings.

While Randy was “visiting” with Mrogan her mother had another child, a boy named Pace. Something about that seems super gross.

Seema Raghaven looks like she has those glasses in multiple colors. The girl is not afraid to commit to a look.

Seema Raghaven: Thanks for inviting me over, Randy. I wanted you to see my new glasses.
Randy: Uh, nice. Are you going to wear them in the shower?

Randy has no time for idle chit-chat! The man barely sleeps.

Turns out she did take them off.

Seema left Randy’s house and Moira rushed right over.

Moira Fyres: Hey, girl. Nice glasses.
Seema Raghaven: Awe, thanks for noticing.

Better make this special. This could be Moira’s last baby until Dominick dies.

Randy: Let’s wrap this up. Night’s coming and if I do this right I can have one more visitor tonight.

Special yet quick.

Aaradhya Acharya is overdressed for a nighttime walk in the desert. Maybe she is celebrating her baby bump.

Randy called Grace Anansi and she hustled herself right over.

Randy: Oh, you’re here already.
Grace Anansi: Yes, Randy, I do not like to waste time.

They got right down to the business at hand.

Just before midnight, L. Faba had a girl named Lizette.

Monday

In the early morning hours, Randy called L. Faba three times before she woke up. He was a little impatient to get his day started.

She made the bed disappear. It made for a fun time.

L. Faba: Oh, oops. Sorry, Randy, I just got excited.
Randy: It’s so weird. I can feel the bed, I just can see it.

Alex Moyer’s son, Odin (he does have two fully functioning eyes) was seen speaking to Darrel Charm. Darrel is seen regularly around Randy’s house since Emilia started having Randy’s children. Should I be concerned? Maybe he’s just fascinated by Randy.

L. Faba left after restoring the bed and as the sun was rising Lilith Pleasant made her way to Randy’s door. Why is there a glass of water on the porch?

Lilith Pleasant: Hey L.!
L. Faba: Hey Lil, are we still having lunch today?
Lilith Pleasant: Absolutely!

Randy: *turns on the charm* Hello, Lilith, your sister gave me your number. Please allow me to introduce myself…
Lilith Pleasant: Ohhhhh.

One thing led to another and the next thing you know Randy and Lilith are in the Love Tub

Summer Holiday had a set of twin boys! I love it when multiples are born. If you’re keeping track Nathan and Johan are babies 5 and 6 this week.

Mila Much looks like she is about to burst! Behind her, Ciara Sterling has a baby on board too.

Katrina Caliente had been angry with Randy ever since he flirted with her daughters while she was near. He could not talk her into Love Tub time, or time anywhere else.

Katrina Caliente: No, I do not want to soak in the Love Tub, Randy.
Randy: OK, doll. It doesn’t have to be the Love Tub, how about the magic box?
Katrina Caliente: The answer is still no. Are you going to feed me something or not?

The heart cookies didn’t work either. She still has a couple open spaces in her house.

Bella Goth had Orson, a beautiful baby boy.

This is Randy’s daughter, Erin munch. She is clearly upset about something.

And over in the distance is Nicole Raghaven. Looks like she’s a pretty busy scout now. Look at all those badges.

Katrina left without the promise of another child. It’s disappointing, but Randy doesn’t give up easily. He will try again.

Katrina Caliente: Hug waste of time. He didn’t even make me a grilled cheese.

Even though Cassandra Goth lives across the street getting her over to Randy’s house has been one failure after another. So I sent Randy over to her place for a visit. Apparently, Cassandra can not afford to keep her lights on. Or maybe she doesn’t own any.

Her bed was super uncomfortable.

Randy: I think that’s a spring in my butt.
Cassandra Goth: Sorry about that; this is my parents’ old mattress.

Zoe Patel’s son, Weston, was hanging out in the desert. Maybe it’s take your kid to work day.

Caiden Caliente, Dina’s son, is now a teenager. London Bjersen is there in the background.

Welcome baby Aspen Pleasant! Baby number 8.

Randy picked Zoe Patel up after her shift at the food stand. You can see him on the left in the distance.

Then he walked her all the way back to his house where Eliza Pancakes was waiting.

Eliza Pancakes: Randy, I’m pre-
Randy: Not now, doll. Randy’s got a schedule to keep.

Zoe ended up spending the night. I wonder what happened to her son, Weston?

Zoe Patel: I feel like I forgot something at work.
Randy: Whatever it is, it will be there tomorrow.
Zoe Patel: You are so wise, Randy.

This is Camille Fyres, Randy and Moira Fyres firstborn. She’s interesting. She doesn’t mind showing off all of that chest hair.

I missed the birth of Lucian Sterling. Lucian will always be a vampire name to me. Maybe Ciara Sterling was a fan of The Vampire Diaries.

Tuesday

The next morning Zoe realized she was pregnant with another baby. I wonder how she can afford all of these children with what she makes from the food stand.

Mila Munch’s last baby. Her house is full now unless there is another death in her family before she ages, I just don’t see her having another of Randy’s children. Enjoy your retirement, Mila.

As Bella Goth ran over to Randy’s house I noticed Kalamainu’u Iona looks like she is about to give birth. I’m crossing my fingers for twins.

Kalamainu’u Iona: *watching Bella* I wish I could run again.

Randy greeted Bella like he had been away at war.

They made their way to the Love Tub without saying a word to each other.

Gil Akiyama, one of Randy and Jenna Akiyama’s sons and Emilia Ernest were spotted.

We haven’t seen this shiny face in a few days. Nancy Landgraab finally made an appearance. Surprisingly, she just walked by Randy’s house once.

Nancy Landgraab: Maybe it’s time to play hard-to-get.

Baby number 11 is Allan Moyer! Time to extend an invitation to his mother, Alex.

After Love Tub time, Randy nearly broke his arm inviting his next guest over before Bella was even finished speaking.

Bella Goth: Are you listening to me, Randy?
Randy: Give me a minute, doll. Important phone call. *to the phone* Hey, doll. Do you want to come over?

Bella walked out of Randy’s house with a huge smile on her face.

Summer Holiday: *very firm knocking* Oh gosh, sorry. I didn’t mean to knock on your clavicle.
Bella Goth: *less happy*

Bella just cleared her throat, adjusted her top, and walked away.

Summer Holiday: *dies a little inside*

Cassandra Goth: *crazy stare* I saw you assault my mother.
Summer Holiday: *panics* Save me, Randy. I’m not the fighting kind.

Somehow Randy smoothed things over with Cassandra. Then Summer and Randy made their way to the Love Tub.

Randy: Wanna try something fun?
Summer Holiday: Yes!

Summer Holiday: When you said, “Try something fun.” I did not think this would be it.

Summer Holiday: Actually, I think I have your shorts and you have mine.
Randy: Does that bother you?

Angela Pleasant was Randy’s next guest.

Angela Pleasant: WHOA! That’s a little scary.

Back into his Magician’s Box. Angela was very eager.

The shower broke after the abuse Angela Pleasant and Randy put it through. Hopefully Randy will get a chance to repair it soon.

For anyone interested in doing this challenge, I would suggest getting more woohoo places. You know, to keep it fresh.

Before the night was over, Aaradhya Acharya had a baby boy, Lukas.

Randy ended the day with a sleepover with Ciara Sterling. I forgot to take pictures of her visit.

Wednesday

Wednesday morning Ava Harjo had her baby. Stacey Harjo is baby number 13!

Randy felt that tingle when Siobhan Fyres walked by his house. Justin Delgato was not invited into the conversation. He stayed anyway.

Randy: Well, hellooo. Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m Randy Johnson. I’m new in town and I’m here to serve.
Siobhan Fyres: Hello, I’m Siobhan. I’ve heard so much about you.
Justin Delgato: *wishes for popcorn*

Randy couldn’t seal the deal with an audience so Siobhan went on her way and he called Alex Moyer.

Alex showed up almost like she was standing there the entire time.

Alex Moyer: Hello, Randy.
Randy: Wow, I didn’t realize you would get here so quickly.
Alex Moyer: My kid here so he can play in the street.

The city of Oasis Springs should invest in a playground.

Randy and Alex wasted no time.

Randy: Let’s get this done, shall we?
Alex Moyer: Yes, I have to give my kid a bath.

Sadie Munch looks like she was skipping school

Sadie Munch: *savoring the taste of freedom*

Eliza Pancakes looks is going to have that baby any time now.

Eliza Pancakes: I’ll have a pretzel with everything you have on it.
Food Stand Dude: Uhhh…
Eliza Pancakes: Don’t make this awkward. I am pregnant and hungry. I will cry for food.

When Alex Moyer had to leave Randy invited Aaradhya Acharya to his place.

Ciara Sterling is looking pregnant again.

Three baby mamas in one picture! Ciara Sterling, Aaradhya Acharya, and Ava Harjo. Randy called Ava after he was done entertaining Aaradhya.

Emilia Ernest had a baby girl named Aurora, which seems appropriate for a spell caster. Aurora Ernest is baby number 14. Guess who Randy is calling next.

After a few pleasantries, Ava and Randy got right down to the important stuff.

As Ava was leaving Emilia Ernest was arriving.

Emilia Ernest: YES! It’s my turn!
Ava Harjo: *mutters* This one’s loud.

Emilia Ernest: My fiance gave me Crustaceans, but it’s cleared up now and I am ready to rumble!
Ava Harjo: *sarcasm* Classy.

Emilia Ernest did not like Ava’s implication that she was not a classy lady. I would be nervous if I were Ava, she might find a toad in her bed or some other unpleasantness.

Emilia Ernest: *fumes*

As soon as she saw Randy she forgot all about Ava Harjo.

Emilia Ernest: Take me to the Love Tub.

Kalamainu’u Iona had a baby boy, Nestor.

Emilia Ernest: Kiss my face. I’m in the mood to be cherished. Do not disappoint me, Randy.
Randy: No, ma’am.

Emilia left feeling refreshed but when she saw Siobhan Fyres her attitude changed.

Siobhan Fyres: Hello.
Emilia Ernest: Hmph.
Siobhan Fyres: Rude.

Once inside Siobhan made things rather easy for Randy. He gave her a rose and she was ready for the next step.

They went to the bedroom because the shower is still broken. That will get repaired overnight when Randy can’t have as many visitors.

Eliza Pancakes had her baby, Kala Pancakes.

Siobhan Fyres: Hello, Ms. Prescott.
Mei Prescott: Hello, Siobhan, how is your mother?

An awkward moment here. Siobhan is a former student of Mei’s back when Mei was a teacher.

Mei Prescott: *mutters under her breath*

Clara Bjergsen had two babies! If you’re keeping track Marc and Maximus Bjersen are babies number 17 and 18.

Mei Prescott: *baby voice* Wandy, I’ve weewee missed you. *pouts*
Randy: *shudders* Let’s see what we can do about that then.

Randy: *rushing* Um, let’s do this; I have a 7:00.

Erik Akiyama, the first of Jenna Akiyama and Randy’s sons. And behind him, Mei Prescott is doing the walk of shame.

Mei Prescott: I hope I don’t see any more students.

Baby boy Ojo! Welcome, Matthew Ojo.

Randy invited Katrina over in an attempt to make amends. She walked passed Mei Prescott and this frown magically appeared on her face. It doesn’t look like things are going to go well.

Katrina Caliente: All I want is to find love.
Mei Prescott: *walking that shame walk*

This must be a visual for “fake happy.” There is a smile on her face, but her body language says something else entirely. Katrina is so very tired of Randy’s games. She just can’t do the whole her-kids-are-uncles-and-aunts-to-their-half-siblings-thing.

Before the night was through, Alice Martin gave birth to a bouncing baby boy named Andre.

In the end, Katrina spent the night with Randy, but that was all. It looks like things between them are well and truly over.

Katrina Caliente: *cries in her sleep*
Randy: *snores*

Thursday

Overnight, Becca Clarke had her baby, Malik Clarke.

After Katrina broke things off and left Randy for the last time, he needed a moment to mourn the loss of his soulmate.

Randy: *sobs*

Nancy Landgraab is back on the prowl. That whole play-hard-to-get-thing didn’t last very long.

Nancy Landgraab: Step outside, watch me walk away. *humming “Nothing Compares to You”*

This young one is Tara Caliente, another of Dina’s spawn. It seems Dina prefers free-range parenting.

Kalamainu’u Iona stopped by in her bathing suit. Randy quickly got the hint.

Randy: Shall we head back to the Love Tub?
Kalamainu’u Iona: I thought you’d never ask.

What a liar.

She quickly swapped bathing suits before getting into the Love Tub.

Randy’s family tree is a straight line.

Another aspiration completed!

Nalani Mahi’ai came over and they jumped into the shower.

Look at that baby bump on Ava Harjo.

Alex Moyer is looking very pregnant as well.

Alex Moyer: PRETZELS! Get your pretzels.

Hilary Laurent had a boy named Edgar.

Mei Prescott is thinking about her unborn baby.

Once Nalani left Eliza Pancakes was invited. She came right over.

Randy: Randy’s gotta put a little fuel in the tank first. I’ll be right with you.
Eliza Pancakes: Oh sure, I’ll just stare at this wall here.

Soon Randy was ready to plow some fields.

This is Nalai Mahi’ai’s son, Anthony. He has the biggest head of hair I have ever seen.

Pregnant Ciara Sterling was getting her steps in.

Catarina Lynx birthed a baby boy, Stanley. Stanley is not a cat name, way to kill a dream, Catarina.

Eliza left feeling like a new woman.

Eliza Pancakes: Hello world! I am ready for you.
Miko Ojo: I need some of what she’s had.

Randy: Hey, doll. Randy’s gotta make a pit stop before we get started.
Miko Ojo: Okay, Randy, I” just wait in the other room.

Miko enters the bedroom and before he goes into the bathroom Randy whips out his phone and starts taking pictures! What a sleaze.

Randy: Just gotta get a couple quick shots for the ol’ memory bank.

Once Randy was done with his bathroom business he was ready to continue with the night’s entertainment.

Randy: Ready?
Miko Ojo: Ready! *giggles*

While Randy and Miko were busy Morgan Fyres had a baby boy, Arjun.

Friday

In the early morning hours of Friday, Seema Raghaven had her baby, a boy she named Drake.

Also, I missed the birth of Moira Fyres’s son, Gerard.

This is Luz Prescott, she’s pretty edgy. She’s rocking that mohawk.

As Alice Martin lugged her big head over to Randy’s house Catarina Lynx was walking by.

Catarina Lynx: *purrs* Call me…owwww…

The bed is better neck support so that is where Randy and Alice ended up. I wonder if Alice’s children will have equally large heads.

Randy: You just rest your neck on the pillow.

I spotted Marcel Price, Janae Price’s husband. Who is he trying to fool with that look? Everyone can see that he dyes his facial hair, right?

Marcel Price: *catalog model pose*

The next to spend time with Randy was Grace Anansi.

Randy: *swoop*
Grace Anansi: DEAR PLUMBOB! I’LL PUT A HEX ON YOU!!!

Randy still has not learned not to frighten the spellcasters.

While Grace and Randy were greeting each other Alice had finally gathered enough strength back into her neck to leave the bed.

Grace Anansi and Randy: *gross mouth noises*
Alice Martin: *sigh*

Then they were off to the Love Tub for some tub lovin’.

Grace Anansi: Just don’t get my hair wet.

Outside the fence, Nina Caliente decided to be neighborly.

Nina Caliente: Youuuu hoooooo! Are you there? It’s been a while, Randy!

Normally Randy enjoys desperation, but this is something else. Dina and Nina’s house is full, so they are considered retired unless someone dies.

Nina Caliente: RANDY! I CAN SEE YOUR PLUMBOB!
Randy: *whispering* We are going to have to keep this quiet.

Nina eventually got tired or overheated and left, but the smell of desperation lingered.
The Caliente family is turning into a tragedy.

As Grace was leaving Becca Clarke was arriving.

Becca Clarke: Hey, girl!
Grace Anansi: Girl, do not use the hot tub. There was a looney toon here earlier. You have been warned.

Out by the street, there was a commotion.

Angela Pleasant: Hey, Randy! Randy, look over here! RANDY!
Ciara Sterling: Geez, could you please get out of my way? I do not want to be associated with this sideshow.
Mele Kahananui: Oh dear, someone is calling me. How do I answer this phone? *taps phone* Hello? *looks at phone* HELLO… It’s not working.
Angela Pleasant: *shrieks* RANDY!!!!

Angela Pleasant: RANDY! Please look over here. RANDY! PLEASE!
Becca Clarke and Randy: *look at Angela*
Anglea Pleasant: OH, oh. YES! Hi, Randy! Hiiiiii.
Becca Clarke: Is this the looney toon from earlier?
Randy: Uhh, nope.

Randy had Becca wait inside while he tried to get the crazy off his lawn.

Angela Pleasant: Randy, look! It’s me, Angela. Look! I’m pregnant, Randy! I’m not cosplaying. It’s for real. The baby is yours, Randy!
Ciara Sterling: Lady, if you don’t move right now I will do a murder.
Mele Kahananui: I just can’t get my phone call to work.
Randy: That’s nice, doll. Why don’t you go home and have a nap.
Angela Pleasant: Yeah, good idea! I’ll go home and nap. I LOVE YOU! See you tomorrow!

Angela’s sister, Lilith Pleasant, had her baby while Angela was scattering her marbles all over Oasis Springs.

Once Randy got Angela to leave he and Becca continued on like nothing happened.

Becca Clarke: This bed is so bouncy!
Randy: It’s got just the right amount of bounce. I tested about 50 mattresses before I decided on this one.

Becca Clarke had to get to class. On her way out the door, Randy invited L. Faba over.

Randy was exhausted from the earlier drama with Nina Caliente and Angela Pleasant, so he and L. Faba got right to it.

Catarina Lynx was Randy’s next visitor.

Catarina Lynx: *purrs* Meow, Randy.
Randy: How about the Love Tub today?
Catarina Lynx: *purrs with approval*

Catarina Lynx: You want me to climb you like a kitty condo? Mee-ow!

As Catarina Lynx left Randy’s house feeling like the cat that got the cream, Lilith Pleasant was arriving.

Lilith found Randy in the bathroom and attacked him. What is going on with the ladies this week? Not that Randy mined at all. She wasn’t screaming about having his baby out on the lawn.

When Lilith left Randy invited Kaori Nishidake over. She lived with her grandparents in Mt. Komorebi before they died. Now she had seven open spaces in her very lonely home. A home Randy hopes to fill it with baby smiles and giggles.

Randy: Are you ready to tango, doll?
Kaori: Oh no, I don’t know how to dance.
Randy: That’s okay, doll. Let The Randy Man teach you.

Randy turned around and laid a kiss on her. Not quite the dictionary definition of dancing.

Saturday

Kaori Nishidake ended up spending the night with Randy. She had no one waiting at home for her anyway.

Early Saturday morning Zoe Patel gave birth to Terra.

A fire broke out on Randy’s porch.

Kaori Nishidake: Randy, there’s a fire!
Randy: I see it, doll.

Kaori Nishidake: Fire, Randy!
Randy: Working on it!

I have no idea how the fire started, but it destroyed all of the plants everyone complains about when they visit. Could it have been the incense burner or foul play?

After the fire, Kaori understandably wanted to go home to her boring yet safe life.

Once socially acceptable, Randy invited Anaya Jang over for some fun. Anaya has two daughters and a husband that has one foot in the grave.

Anaya Jang: My husband is old and naps all the time. I’m desperate to feel like a woman.
Randy: Have no fear, The Randy Man has you covered.

Anaya Jang left singing “Man, I Feel Like a Woman” and Randy invited Cassandra Goth over because she was still having trouble getting pregnant!

Cassandra Goth: This is the one, right? This one is going to take?
Randy: This is the one. Let’s do it!

It wasn’t.

Zoe Patel came over after her shift at the Food Stand.

Randy: Ok, if you want to shower off the day’s dust then I get to join you.
Zoe Patel: SIGH! Fine.

Zoe and Randy actually have a terrible relationship, it’s red. They are full flirty-bar though, it’s a love/hate relationship. I’m sure this changes with Growing Together, but I have played many weeks ahead hoping to get through this challenge before the expansion pack was released. Spoiler, I didn’t, Randy is still alive. He might be immortal.

Randy: Quickly, let’s get inside.
Morgan Fyres: But, Randy, I just got here. Can’t you say hello first?

Randy was freaking out because he spotted Angela Pleasant in the distance and did not want a repeat of yesterday.

Randy was able to iron over his faux pas with Morgan by offering her some of his “special” heart cookies. I don’t know what they are laced with, but the ladies get super flirty when they eat them.

Seema Raghaven was Randy’s last visitor of the week.

Seema Raghaven: Randy, the blues on our shirts match.
Randy: Oh yeah? I bet they would look good together on my bedroom floor.

I guess Seema thought so too.

The last baby of the week was born to Bella Goth, Nevaeh Goth baby number 29!

This week a total of 29 children were born; making the grand total 91 children!

Week 1: Deja Vu

Not going to lie, Randy Johnson has had a rough start to his challenge. First, his house gets completely refurbished and then the game crashes and I have to do it all over again. Then when I started actually playing the game I had to replay the first day three times, THREE TIMES! Uuuuughhhhhh! I’ve (hopefully) learned my lesson and started saving often. When Randy meets a new lady, I save. When Randy has a good time with a lady, I save. When a baby is born, I save. I think you get the picture.

My game is unmodded. As much as I would love to add CC to my game, I am not willing to get a virus again. So, CC-free gaming it is. This means each household has a limit of 8 sims/pets. And I am very much hoping that the story progression in the game will keep my towns alive. I am taking the liberty to move sims around to different housing if necessary. I will also place Maxis-made sims into the towns If I start to have population issues.

Sunday

Randy: Well, hellooooo, ladies. Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m Randy Johnson. I’m new in town and I am here to serve.
Janae Price (left): Oh hi. I’m Janae and this is… Oh, you have really nice hair.
Mei Prescott (right): *clears throat* I am Mei. Nice to meet you.

Janae Price and Mei Prescott live in Copperdale and come to Oasis Springs for ladies’ night at Rattlesnake Juice Bar when they want a night away from their kids.

Janae lives with her husband, three children, and a foreign exchange student. According to the wiki Janae and her husband, Marcel, are high school sweethearts. Sounds like a busy house, but it also sounds like she has a lot of helping hands. She might need that help in the not-so-far future. One of her children, Savannah, is a teenager. Randy will be watching for her to become a young adult. Her house has 6 sims living in it. This means Janae has room for two babies.

Mei Prescott is a widow and cares for her elderly father and two daughters, Molly (a teenager) and Amy (still just a child). She’s also the principal of the high school. She must really like kids. Her household has room for three babies.

Randy: Stop touching me. I can’t even see you!
Invisible Nancy Landgraab: I can you just fine, you fine piece of man-meat.

I wasn’t that far into the game when I started to have issues again. I focused so much on the lag and weird disappearing sims that I forgot to get pictures. Here Randy is on a date with Nancy Landgraab. She sure is grabby. Each time I had issues with my game I had been on dates with Nancy. So I decided to restart after my last save and I DID NOT meet Nancy on the first day again.

Randy: *makes his move*
Katrina Caliente: *is shocked, but not really*

This time my gameplay went smoother and I decided on an easy target, Katrina Caliente. Unfortunately, I forgot to get pics of their introduction. But you can see Randy working his magic right here.

Katrina Caliente lives with her boyfriend, Don Lothario, and two young adult daughters, Dina and Nina. I have to say, whatever Katrina is doing bathing in the blood of the young she looks amazing for having two grown daughters. Katrina’s household has room for four babies.

Randy: *whispers* Something, something magician’s assistant. Something, something inside my magician’s box.

Not willing to waste any more time Randy got her into the shower and bada boom, bada bing, Bob’s your uncle then he asked Katrina to stay the night.

Randy: You up for round two?
Katrina Caliente: Honey, you have no idea who you are talking to.

One more round won’t hurt, we want to make good and sure there is a little Randy Johnson on the way.

Monday

Randy: Whoa, hey, where’d you go?
Katrina Caliente: I am visiting the mirror realm to see what my future holds.

The next morning after a quick stop in the mirror realm Katrina made a run for the restroom.

Katrina Caliente: *huuuuuurrrrrrlllllll* Oh god. Maybe he won’t notice?

That looks like a very promising sign! Baby number one could be on the way! Katrina’s household will now have room for three more babies.

Katrina Caliente: *storms out of the house* Stepped in my own mess…
L. Faba: *is awkward*

Randy met L. Faba on his first day (Sunday). She is my experiment to see if NPC or unhoused sims can get pregnant. L. Faba is a young adult spellcaster from Glimmerbrook. Pretty sure Randy will be the one casting a spell on her though. Her “household” should have room for seven babies!

L. Faba: It’s my first time being here. I don’t really leave Glimmerbrook much.
Randy: Maybe you just haven’t had the right motivation. Until now…

With the toilet out of commission, Randy decided they should head down to Rattlesnake Juice Bar and grab a drink.

Once they got inside to grab a drink at the bar Dominic Fyres decided to harsh Randy’s mellow.

Randy: Hey man, do you mind if I sit next to my friend over there?
Dominic Fyres: I was here first and I’m staying here. Next time come earlier.
Randy: Dude, it’s like 10:00 am.
Dominic Fyres: Man, you have no idea what it’s like for me at home. I have three women that always want my attention.
Randy: Did you say three women?

Randy’s got his eye fixed on your women now, Dominic.

Randy and L. Faba: *disgusting mouth noises*
Katrina Caliente: *oblivious*

I don’t know what they were drinking but suddenly Randy and L. Faba were checking each other tonsils and gag reflexes. While that was happening Katrina Caliente walked in. Disappointingly she had no reaction to the show they were putting on. Do I need to make them all girlfriends for the drama?

Thanks to Dominic Fyres Randy only earned a silver. Not too bad though, he can use this at the “Love Shack.”

Randy and L. Faba: *velcroed together*
L. Faba: I could stay like this forever.
Randy: *sweats*

Oh yeah! We are going to have baby number two on the way in no time!

L. Faba: But, Randy, I haven’t even seen your house yet.
Randy: There’s always tomorrow.

*sings* Brown chicken! Brown cow! This happened twice. Until I can get that fertile aspiration reward it happens twice to increase the chances of pregnancy. Randy must fill her house with babies!

Tuesday

L. Faba: Ugh, I can’t believe that came out of me.

It’s been two days and Randy’s bathroom has been in a perpetual state of chaos. He’s going to need to hire a maid at some point. Hopefully, the maid will be a man so the house actually gets clean.

Anyway, this is proof that baby number two is on the way! L. Faba’s house has room for six more babies.

Randy: Hey, Dina, why don’t you stop by The Love Shack?
Dina: *unintelligible screaming*
L. Faba: *mesmerized by huge TV*

Before L. Faba could be shooed out the door, Randy called Dina Caliente. They met the night before during Randy and L. Faba’s date while she used the restroom. When Randy sees an opportunity he does not let it go. He will wrestle it to the ground with both hands.

Dina Caliente: This seat is so warm.
Randy: I warmed it for you before you got here. (Liar.)
Dina Calinente: *melts* You are so sweet.

The couch hadn’t even cooled from L. Faba’s butt before Dina got to the house.

Randy: Let’s see who can hold their breath the longest.
Dina Caliente: Be prepared to lose!
Trash: *stinks*

Before L. Faba left she knocked over the trash can. Pretty sure it was retaliation for inviting Dina over, like what she did in the bathroom wasn’t punishment enough.

Someone’s Foot: *waving and splashing*
Trash: *continues to stink*

Do we even want to know what is happening in this picture?

Randy: *sings* Magic Man by Heart.

Randy has been a busy man. After the QT he spent with Dina, he needed a quick nap. Then it was back to Mission: Meet the Ladies.

Nancy Landgraab: *watches*
Randy: *sings* TLC’s Creep.

Fitness is very important to Randy. The man needs to have the heart of a horse if he expects to father more children than Wilde. While Randy was working out the cursed Nancy Landgraab decided to enjoy the show. The sunglasses hide her unblinking stare, but not the drool stains on her jacket. It’s not too creepy, right?

Randy: Well, helloooooo. Please allow me to introduce myself; I’m Randy Johnson. I’m new here and I’m here to serve…
Kaori Nishidake: Dude, I’m 16.
Randy: *slowly backs away*

Randy saw Kaori Nishidake at the gym and decided to say hello. Don’t worry, it’s not creepy (it totally is). He just wanted to get her phone number. It’s perfectly normal for a grown man to be friends with a teenage girl. So normal.

Wednesday

Randy: That was fast, Nancy.
Nancy Landgraab: *panting* Sorry, it took me so long. I had to put my face on.
Nancy’s Face: *shines*

When Randy woke up the next morning he invited Nancy Landgraab over. She came running over before he even hung up the phone. Nancy is an adult, she lives in Oasis Springs with her husband and son. Nancy’s household has room for five babies!

Randy: *goes in for the kiss*
Nancy: *swerves to meet lips*

With music and the incense burner going to set the mood, Nancy was putty in his hands. Soon, Randy was moving in for a kiss. He nearly missed, the shine on her face was so blinding.

Randy: *get’s into the most awkward position*
Nancy Landgraab: *goes with the flow*

This picture is pretty self-explanatory, Randy did not have to work hard to convince Nancy of anything. Randy knows when a woman is desperate for attention and Nancy is that woman.

Nancy Landgraab: Is he watching me walk away? I hope he’s watching me walk away.

Wham! Bam! Thank you, Ma’am! Randy took the quote for Zobieland and tapped that twice, then Nancy was sent packing.

As Nancy was leaving Randy felt a tingle. The lady-tingle. (Oh my god, that sounds terrible!) There was a woman nearby he had not met yet. Randy ran out of his house. He ran down the road driven by an inner demon. When he found her he shoved his phone in her face and shouted one word, “NUMBER!” No idea why Nancy was there but she sure did make it awkward.

Randy: *shoves phone* NUMBER! *panting*
Sofia Bjergsen: *shocked* Oh okay. *does the thing*
Nancy Landgraab: *stares*

Randy: Look at these pythons.
Sofia Bjergsen: Pythons! I don’t like snakes.
Nancy Landgraab: *too excited* I see them, Randy! I see them!

When a cloud blocked the sun and the glare from Nancy’s makeup disappeared; Randy could tell that Sofia was just a child. Randy left without another word, but he didn’t delete her number from his phone. Not creepy at all. Totally aboveboard.

Moira Fyres: Yes, your pythons are very nice.
Randy: Yeah, I can bench like 100.

Randy went home and consoled himself by inviting Moira Fyres over. Yeah, that’s right, Dominic Fyres’s wife. Oh, Dominic, you think you’re busy now? You have no idea.

Moira lives in Windenburg with her husband and two daughters Siobhan (YA) and Morgan (teen). Randy would love to meet them one day.

Moira Fyres: Yes I would love to play a game of bury the treasure.
Randy: Okay, but I get to be the pirate.

Moira called her husband and told him she was having a girls’ night out. Not a girls’ night, but a girl’s night.

Randy: Ahrg, me hearty! Oh. We’re done?
Moira Fyres: Oh, yeah, we’re done.

Before too long, Moira was ready for bed. Poor thing, she thought spending the night at Randy’s meant a night of uninterrupted sleep. She won’t make that mistake again.

Thursday

As I waited for Randy and Moira to wake, I had a spin around town and what should I see? A very pregnant L. Faba.

Moira Fyres: Hurrlsomuchcomingout!

Oh, it looks like it’s coming out of her nose. How unfortunate. Good thing it’s the same color as her shirt. That splashback will be camouflaged, not sure she can disguise the smell though.

Oh, Randy what have you done? They aren’t supposed to fall for you, just have your children. He had no choice but to disappoint her.

Randy: Would you cage a butterfly? No. So why would you cage me? I need to be free; to fly, just like a butterfly.
Moira Fyres: *whispers* But I love you…
Stereo: *snaps and cracks*

Randy: Oh, yeah, looks pretty round to me.
L. Faba: I’m so gassy all the time.

When a dejected Moira went back to her family Randy and L. Faba had a conversation about how gassy and bloated she had become.

Dina Caliente: I’m just going to make myself right at home.
House: Where’s my hat?

Dina Caliente just walked into the house, bold as you please! What if Randy had a “friend” over? We are going to have to lock these doors. This just can’t happen.

WHAT?! Did anyone else hear that record scratch? Of course, I had Randy run over to the Caliente house to see what was up. Dina can just have a seat in the living room. Did Randy not seal the deal? Was she so desperate for a child she needed to adopt one? The Randy Man is willing to try again!

As soon as Randy walked in the door and saw Nina Caliente he forgot his reason to be there.

Randy: Well, hellooooo. Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m Randy Johnson. I’m new in town and I am here to serve.
Nina Caliente: Ooooohhhhhh, yes you are…

Katrina Caliente: Right now, this game of Tetris is more important than my newly adopted son.

Do you see what I see? That is a baby belly! Randy did it! The second pregnancy is confirmed! Completely happy, I sent Randy back home to see what Dina wanted and why she wasn’t pregnant yet.

Dina Caliente: Why did I come here again?

When Randy got home Dina had popped! Pregnancy number three is confirmed!!! I sent her home, she had no reason to be there right now and Randy had work to do.

It was also at this point that I decided to move the Caliente sisters out into their own home. They will have each other and their own brood of children.

Janae Price: *thinking* This man is a work of art.
Randy: *auto-pilot takes over*

Randy invited Janae Price over for a night of fun.

Janae Price: Bed?
Randy: Yes.

She was quite eager to get the night started. I have to say she made it easy for Randy. I wonder if she was with Mei at Rattlesnake Juice Bar earlier.

Friday

Janae Price: Ugh, I don’t feel so well.
Randy: Yeah, I seem to have that effect on women lately.

As soon as Randy and Janae woke in the morning Janae started feeling unwell. This seems promising.

On a hunch, I decided to check Randy’s genealogy, and low and BEHOLD! A child has been born! Katrina Caliente gave Randy his first child! It might be time to have Katrina back over to “celebrate.”

Randy: Kay, bye. I’ll call you.
Janae Price: No more bedtime fun?

I don’t know how many encores Janae expected, but Randy’s talents need to be spread around town. She can have another sleepover once she has a baby.

Nancy Landgraab: What have I done?

Looks like I forgot to take pictures of Friday. The only thing of note here is Randy finally seems to have gotten Nancy with child. Pretty sure she was already pregnant, but getting rid of Nancy is like getting rid of the stink on a skunk.

Saturday

L. Faba has given Randy his second child!

L. Faba: Phew, it’s nice to actually ride a bike again.

Let’s remedy that, shall we? Opportunity literally came knocking on Randy’s door and he was only too willing to answer.

No words just action.

Randy should install a revolving door with all the action his house is seeing today. L. Faba was dismissed and Katrinia Caliente was next.

Katrina Caliente: But my hat will get wet

Nancy Landgraab: Randy, I’m having your baby.

While Randy was “entertaining” Katrina in the Love Tub, Nancy invited herself to the party. Randy noticed the scent of desperation in the air but decided to ignore it. She eventually left.

Dina Caliente gave Randy his third child!

And that is the end of week one! Three babies were born during his first week in town. The man is a machine!

Join me next week when we will see if Randy can impregnate any more women. And how many times will Nancy make it awkward?