Not going to lie, Randy Johnson has had a rough start to his challenge. First, his house gets completely refurbished and then the game crashes and I have to do it all over again. Then when I started actually playing the game I had to replay the first day three times, THREE TIMES! Uuuuughhhhhh! I’ve (hopefully) learned my lesson and started saving often. When Randy meets a new lady, I save. When Randy has a good time with a lady, I save. When a baby is born, I save. I think you get the picture.
My game is unmodded. As much as I would love to add CC to my game, I am not willing to get a virus again. So, CC-free gaming it is. This means each household has a limit of 8 sims/pets. And I am very much hoping that the story progression in the game will keep my towns alive. I am taking the liberty to move sims around to different housing if necessary. I will also place Maxis-made sims into the towns If I start to have population issues.
Sunday
Randy: Well, hellooooo, ladies. Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m Randy Johnson. I’m new in town and I am here to serve.
Janae Price (left): Oh hi. I’m Janae and this is… Oh, you have really nice hair.
Mei Prescott (right): *clears throat* I am Mei. Nice to meet you.
Janae Price and Mei Prescott live in Copperdale and come to Oasis Springs for ladies’ night at Rattlesnake Juice Bar when they want a night away from their kids.
Janae lives with her husband, three children, and a foreign exchange student. According to the wiki Janae and her husband, Marcel, are high school sweethearts. Sounds like a busy house, but it also sounds like she has a lot of helping hands. She might need that help in the not-so-far future. One of her children, Savannah, is a teenager. Randy will be watching for her to become a young adult. Her house has 6 sims living in it. This means Janae has room for two babies.
Mei Prescott is a widow and cares for her elderly father and two daughters, Molly (a teenager) and Amy (still just a child). She’s also the principal of the high school. She must really like kids. Her household has room for three babies.
Randy: Stop touching me. I can’t even see you!
Invisible Nancy Landgraab: I can you just fine, you fine piece of man-meat.
I wasn’t that far into the game when I started to have issues again. I focused so much on the lag and weird disappearing sims that I forgot to get pictures. Here Randy is on a date with Nancy Landgraab. She sure is grabby. Each time I had issues with my game I had been on dates with Nancy. So I decided to restart after my last save and I DID NOT meet Nancy on the first day again.
Randy: *makes his move*
Katrina Caliente: *is shocked, but not really*
This time my gameplay went smoother and I decided on an easy target, Katrina Caliente. Unfortunately, I forgot to get pics of their introduction. But you can see Randy working his magic right here.
Katrina Caliente lives with her boyfriend, Don Lothario, and two young adult daughters, Dina and Nina. I have to say, whatever Katrina is doing bathing in the blood of the young she looks amazing for having two grown daughters. Katrina’s household has room for four babies.
Randy: *whispers* Something, something magician’s assistant. Something, something inside my magician’s box.
Not willing to waste any more time Randy got her into the shower and bada boom, bada bing, Bob’s your uncle then he asked Katrina to stay the night.
Randy: You up for round two?
Katrina Caliente: Honey, you have no idea who you are talking to.
One more round won’t hurt, we want to make good and sure there is a little Randy Johnson on the way.
Monday
Randy: Whoa, hey, where’d you go?
Katrina Caliente: I am visiting the mirror realm to see what my future holds.
The next morning after a quick stop in the mirror realm Katrina made a run for the restroom.
Katrina Caliente: *huuuuuurrrrrrlllllll* Oh god. Maybe he won’t notice?
That looks like a very promising sign! Baby number one could be on the way! Katrina’s household will now have room for three more babies.
Katrina Caliente: *storms out of the house* Stepped in my own mess…
L. Faba: *is awkward*
Randy met L. Faba on his first day (Sunday). She is my experiment to see if NPC or unhoused sims can get pregnant. L. Faba is a young adult spellcaster from Glimmerbrook. Pretty sure Randy will be the one casting a spell on her though. Her “household” should have room for seven babies!
L. Faba: It’s my first time being here. I don’t really leave Glimmerbrook much.
Randy: Maybe you just haven’t had the right motivation. Until now…
With the toilet out of commission, Randy decided they should head down to Rattlesnake Juice Bar and grab a drink.
Once they got inside to grab a drink at the bar Dominic Fyres decided to harsh Randy’s mellow.
Randy: Hey man, do you mind if I sit next to my friend over there?
Dominic Fyres: I was here first and I’m staying here. Next time come earlier.
Randy: Dude, it’s like 10:00 am.
Dominic Fyres: Man, you have no idea what it’s like for me at home. I have three women that always want my attention.
Randy: Did you say three women?
Randy’s got his eye fixed on your women now, Dominic.
Randy and L. Faba: *disgusting mouth noises*
Katrina Caliente: *oblivious*
I don’t know what they were drinking but suddenly Randy and L. Faba were checking each other tonsils and gag reflexes. While that was happening Katrina Caliente walked in. Disappointingly she had no reaction to the show they were putting on. Do I need to make them all girlfriends for the drama?
Thanks to Dominic Fyres Randy only earned a silver. Not too bad though, he can use this at the “Love Shack.”
Randy and L. Faba: *velcroed together*
L. Faba: I could stay like this forever.
Randy: *sweats*
Oh yeah! We are going to have baby number two on the way in no time!
L. Faba: But, Randy, I haven’t even seen your house yet.
Randy: There’s always tomorrow.
*sings* Brown chicken! Brown cow! This happened twice. Until I can get that fertile aspiration reward it happens twice to increase the chances of pregnancy. Randy must fill her house with babies!
Tuesday
L. Faba: Ugh, I can’t believe that came out of me.
It’s been two days and Randy’s bathroom has been in a perpetual state of chaos. He’s going to need to hire a maid at some point. Hopefully, the maid will be a man so the house actually gets clean.
Anyway, this is proof that baby number two is on the way! L. Faba’s house has room for six more babies.
Randy: Hey, Dina, why don’t you stop by The Love Shack?
Dina: *unintelligible screaming*
L. Faba: *mesmerized by huge TV*
Before L. Faba could be shooed out the door, Randy called Dina Caliente. They met the night before during Randy and L. Faba’s date while she used the restroom. When Randy sees an opportunity he does not let it go. He will wrestle it to the ground with both hands.
Dina Caliente: This seat is so warm.
Randy: I warmed it for you before you got here. (Liar.)
Dina Calinente: *melts* You are so sweet.
The couch hadn’t even cooled from L. Faba’s butt before Dina got to the house.
Randy: Let’s see who can hold their breath the longest.
Dina Caliente: Be prepared to lose!
Trash: *stinks*
Before L. Faba left she knocked over the trash can. Pretty sure it was retaliation for inviting Dina over, like what she did in the bathroom wasn’t punishment enough.
Someone’s Foot: *waving and splashing*
Trash: *continues to stink*
Do we even want to know what is happening in this picture?
Randy: *sings* Magic Man by Heart.
Randy has been a busy man. After the QT he spent with Dina, he needed a quick nap. Then it was back to Mission: Meet the Ladies.
Nancy Landgraab: *watches*
Randy: *sings* TLC’s Creep.
Fitness is very important to Randy. The man needs to have the heart of a horse if he expects to father more children than Wilde. While Randy was working out the cursed Nancy Landgraab decided to enjoy the show. The sunglasses hide her unblinking stare, but not the drool stains on her jacket. It’s not too creepy, right?
Randy: Well, helloooooo. Please allow me to introduce myself; I’m Randy Johnson. I’m new here and I’m here to serve…
Kaori Nishidake: Dude, I’m 16.
Randy: *slowly backs away*
Randy saw Kaori Nishidake at the gym and decided to say hello. Don’t worry, it’s not creepy (it totally is). He just wanted to get her phone number. It’s perfectly normal for a grown man to be friends with a teenage girl. So normal.
Wednesday
Randy: That was fast, Nancy.
Nancy Landgraab: *panting* Sorry, it took me so long. I had to put my face on.
Nancy’s Face: *shines*
When Randy woke up the next morning he invited Nancy Landgraab over. She came running over before he even hung up the phone. Nancy is an adult, she lives in Oasis Springs with her husband and son. Nancy’s household has room for five babies!
Randy: *goes in for the kiss*
Nancy: *swerves to meet lips*
With music and the incense burner going to set the mood, Nancy was putty in his hands. Soon, Randy was moving in for a kiss. He nearly missed, the shine on her face was so blinding.
Randy: *get’s into the most awkward position*
Nancy Landgraab: *goes with the flow*
This picture is pretty self-explanatory, Randy did not have to work hard to convince Nancy of anything. Randy knows when a woman is desperate for attention and Nancy is that woman.
Nancy Landgraab: Is he watching me walk away? I hope he’s watching me walk away.
Wham! Bam! Thank you, Ma’am! Randy took the quote for Zobieland and tapped that twice, then Nancy was sent packing.
As Nancy was leaving Randy felt a tingle. The lady-tingle. (Oh my god, that sounds terrible!) There was a woman nearby he had not met yet. Randy ran out of his house. He ran down the road driven by an inner demon. When he found her he shoved his phone in her face and shouted one word, “NUMBER!” No idea why Nancy was there but she sure did make it awkward.
Randy: *shoves phone* NUMBER! *panting*
Sofia Bjergsen: *shocked* Oh okay. *does the thing*
Nancy Landgraab: *stares*
Randy: Look at these pythons.
Sofia Bjergsen: Pythons! I don’t like snakes.
Nancy Landgraab: *too excited* I see them, Randy! I see them!
When a cloud blocked the sun and the glare from Nancy’s makeup disappeared; Randy could tell that Sofia was just a child. Randy left without another word, but he didn’t delete her number from his phone. Not creepy at all. Totally aboveboard.
Moira Fyres: Yes, your pythons are very nice.
Randy: Yeah, I can bench like 100.
Randy went home and consoled himself by inviting Moira Fyres over. Yeah, that’s right, Dominic Fyres’s wife. Oh, Dominic, you think you’re busy now? You have no idea.
Moira lives in Windenburg with her husband and two daughters Siobhan (YA) and Morgan (teen). Randy would love to meet them one day.
Moira Fyres: Yes I would love to play a game of bury the treasure.
Randy: Okay, but I get to be the pirate.
Moira called her husband and told him she was having a girls’ night out. Not a girls’ night, but a girl’s night.
Randy: Ahrg, me hearty! Oh. We’re done?
Moira Fyres: Oh, yeah, we’re done.
Before too long, Moira was ready for bed. Poor thing, she thought spending the night at Randy’s meant a night of uninterrupted sleep. She won’t make that mistake again.
Thursday
As I waited for Randy and Moira to wake, I had a spin around town and what should I see? A very pregnant L. Faba.
Moira Fyres: Hurrlsomuchcomingout!
Oh, it looks like it’s coming out of her nose. How unfortunate. Good thing it’s the same color as her shirt. That splashback will be camouflaged, not sure she can disguise the smell though.
Oh, Randy what have you done? They aren’t supposed to fall for you, just have your children. He had no choice but to disappoint her.
Randy: Would you cage a butterfly? No. So why would you cage me? I need to be free; to fly, just like a butterfly.
Moira Fyres: *whispers* But I love you…
Stereo: *snaps and cracks*
Randy: Oh, yeah, looks pretty round to me.
L. Faba: I’m so gassy all the time.
When a dejected Moira went back to her family Randy and L. Faba had a conversation about how gassy and bloated she had become.
Dina Caliente: I’m just going to make myself right at home.
House: Where’s my hat?
Dina Caliente just walked into the house, bold as you please! What if Randy had a “friend” over? We are going to have to lock these doors. This just can’t happen.
WHAT?! Did anyone else hear that record scratch? Of course, I had Randy run over to the Caliente house to see what was up. Dina can just have a seat in the living room. Did Randy not seal the deal? Was she so desperate for a child she needed to adopt one? The Randy Man is willing to try again!
As soon as Randy walked in the door and saw Nina Caliente he forgot his reason to be there.
Randy: Well, hellooooo. Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m Randy Johnson. I’m new in town and I am here to serve.
Nina Caliente: Ooooohhhhhh, yes you are…
Katrina Caliente: Right now, this game of Tetris is more important than my newly adopted son.
Do you see what I see? That is a baby belly! Randy did it! The second pregnancy is confirmed! Completely happy, I sent Randy back home to see what Dina wanted and why she wasn’t pregnant yet.
Dina Caliente: Why did I come here again?
When Randy got home Dina had popped! Pregnancy number three is confirmed!!! I sent her home, she had no reason to be there right now and Randy had work to do.
It was also at this point that I decided to move the Caliente sisters out into their own home. They will have each other and their own brood of children.
Janae Price: *thinking* This man is a work of art.
Randy: *auto-pilot takes over*
Randy invited Janae Price over for a night of fun.
Janae Price: Bed?
Randy: Yes.
She was quite eager to get the night started. I have to say she made it easy for Randy. I wonder if she was with Mei at Rattlesnake Juice Bar earlier.
Friday
Janae Price: Ugh, I don’t feel so well.
Randy: Yeah, I seem to have that effect on women lately.
As soon as Randy and Janae woke in the morning Janae started feeling unwell. This seems promising.
On a hunch, I decided to check Randy’s genealogy, and low and BEHOLD! A child has been born! Katrina Caliente gave Randy his first child! It might be time to have Katrina back over to “celebrate.”
Randy: Kay, bye. I’ll call you.
Janae Price: No more bedtime fun?
I don’t know how many encores Janae expected, but Randy’s talents need to be spread around town. She can have another sleepover once she has a baby.
Nancy Landgraab: What have I done?
Looks like I forgot to take pictures of Friday. The only thing of note here is Randy finally seems to have gotten Nancy with child. Pretty sure she was already pregnant, but getting rid of Nancy is like getting rid of the stink on a skunk.
Saturday
L. Faba has given Randy his second child!
L. Faba: Phew, it’s nice to actually ride a bike again.
Let’s remedy that, shall we? Opportunity literally came knocking on Randy’s door and he was only too willing to answer.
No words just action.
Randy should install a revolving door with all the action his house is seeing today. L. Faba was dismissed and Katrinia Caliente was next.
Katrina Caliente: But my hat will get wet
Nancy Landgraab: Randy, I’m having your baby.
While Randy was “entertaining” Katrina in the Love Tub, Nancy invited herself to the party. Randy noticed the scent of desperation in the air but decided to ignore it. She eventually left.
Dina Caliente gave Randy his third child!
And that is the end of week one! Three babies were born during his first week in town. The man is a machine!
Join me next week when we will see if Randy can impregnate any more women. And how many times will Nancy make it awkward?
Randy Johnson: The Second Coming 